Wow, so this morning I feel like shit, my head is pounding and there’s so much negativity and hate. Definitely a bipolar bad day. I don’t feel like fighting it today. But I also don’t feel like giving in, crying about nothing and being an asshole. I’m ready to get shitfaced wasted so I can sleep and start over tomorrow. Which is what I normally do but I have so much grown up shit to do today, that I can’t afford to waste any more time. I have to try. The struggle is real.
A couple years ago, right after I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was forced to take a morning group. Every morning they would ask you the same question. The typical shrink question: “How do you feel?” I hated that shit. Why does matter if you voice it? I think now I understand in a self evaluation standpoint. And what I’ve learned is that I have a choice. How I feel is not going to control the rest of my day. I have a choice in controlling how I feel. I know what responsibilities I can handle today. I know what/who triggers might piss me off. So today, I will do some light shopping, maybe hit an early movie after working out at the gym. Now that I have a plan, I will lay here til motivation kicks in…which I hope is very soon…have a blessed day. Smile for me 🙂