I might be a lady but I’m never embarrassed to be naked. I actually enjoy it. I bet everyone thinks all strippers hate stripping. Stripping is the easy part for me. I try to wait til I get some money before I take my gown off, but an amazing money day or shockingly shitty day, I stop hustling on stage and dance for myself. Today was a shitty day. Even my regulars didn’t show. It was nice out, so I can’t blame them. I didn’t use my birthday as a way to make money. I’m not a fan of pity money. If you like me, tip me.
I found out guys won’t tip me on stage because they think I’m a lady, and that it shows they don’t respect me. I’m a fucking stripper. If I wanted to get paid as a lady, I would be in a damn beauty pageant! (Which actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea.)
Anyways, I’ve recently started making silly cute faces on stage. My new approach to inviting the customer in. The seductive sexy thing seems to be coming off as bored and full of attitude. This is my last week in Pittsburgh for a few months, and my jitters and hunger for money is making me aggressive and moody at the club. I think I’m going to pick up some prn prescriptions tomorrow. I’ve never been in denial about my chemical imbalance but I never proceed in treating it until now. Its affecting my money and time is not on my side anymore. I hate drugs. Ironically, taking drugs makes me feel like I’m not normal, yet almost everyone I know takes some kind of drug. My anxiety and depression is playing ping-pong and is whipping my ass. I need to do this. At least for now…
Today I realized how ungrateful I am. I don’t value life, because I’m not choosing to take full advantage of it. I chose to be alone, and may be missing out knowing some great people. If I’m wrong and my company turn out to be idiots, I’m moving and there won’t be no long-term commitment.
So this week, I’m coming out of my comfort zone. Being truly naked is unveiling the inside. Ready or not, I’m getting naked!