You, ugly ol soul you…

I don’t want to write anymore. I can not let my agony have the first or last word of every day. Nor let sorrow reach my soul. Your not welcome here anymore. You hear me!?!

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Written words. Don’t underestimate its power. I did. The mind chooses words on the basis of accuracy. But the soul stresses for its feelings to be heard. It screams and shouts write this! and write that! Wrong word, that’s not how I feel! Whether we (you and I) like it or not, the soul is the creditor and dictator of all creative/free writing. And to think I used to write to escape my soul, when in actuality I was unintentionally embracing it. You sneaky devil soul you…

Now I know I am not the only one with repetitive thoughts of discouragement and doubt of self assurance. But to acknowledge, would be the slightest defeat my I can’t afford. And to write it would bring a triumph exceeding solely within. Because words don’t stay with the writer, they latch on to the soul of the reader. And hence an alliance of heavy soul are made. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I won’t share my misery. I won’t search for more blogs of broken souls to “follow.” I have to stop looking for people who understand exactly how I feel. Why do we do this? Why do we seek sorrow in entertainment? We all have our favorite tear jerker. Mine is Million Dollar Baby. Why isn’t one sad story enough. Your sad story is enough. And I’m sick of it. Totally done. When you gather strength I hope you do the same. End the bipolar.com/mylifesucksmorethanyours/pityparty345248293. I bid my dark soul goodbye. In hateful memory, may I rest in peace Sasha’s Love. Thanks to everyone who has got me to this point.

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2 thoughts on “You, ugly ol soul you…

  1. Yes but… but…what is wrong with wanting to find people who understand us? Who the hell purposely searches for people who don’t understand them? Also why NOT seek sorrow? We seek everything else good or bad for us, when did acknowledging sorrow in our lives become enemy no.1? If you don’t know sorrow how will you recognize joy?
    The alternative is that flat line depression where you just…stare unblinking…feeling nothing. Prefer that?

    Why should one sad story be enough? Do you eat once and say ‘that’s it. I’m done for the rest of my life?’ Do you listen to one song and say ‘right, that’s it. I’m satisfied?’ Do you do that with sex? TV? Friends?

    One thing I DO agree with is the pity party. I read – or should say bypass – a lot of blogs like that. I never thought yours was one of them. Basically because unlike them you can write.
    Lady, recognize your talent and stop punishing yourself for having it. Write. If nothing else. Write.
    Jeez. Blame the right thing. It ain’t your writing.

  2. I agree with the Editor’s journal, you shouldn’t be ‘turning off’ what your soul is made to do. There’s no need to read other’s stories, if you don’t want to, but for goodness sake, don’t stop sharing your own.
    Blessings to you

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