O Happy Day

Look who’s happy. And can you guess why? No, because I haven’t been blogging. I’ve been so busy, and focused lately. Last month’s goal was to take it easy, one day at a time. And I did, and I wish I could keep doing that forever. But, I  consciously know I am truly a mental baby, but its been waaay overdue for me to make some growth in progress. And I did! I don’t drink more than a beer at work. I work almost 4 days a week or until i reach my acceptable financial goal. (Honestly if you can’t triple a day job in less hours, get a day job). I also went to driving school, and received my license without displaying my boobs in a tight low cut top. (Seriously I wore a hoodie). Though I probably passed because I’m a hottie. Lol jokes.. Anyway, the biggest reason why I’m happy is I learned something new at church (next post). And the next biggest reason is me and Pancho are moving! The freedom to be naked all day, and take 4hr baths will soon be in effect.

Moving day this weekend, haven’t told anyone yet. Not even the douchebag we are leasing the room out of the duplex now. He will find out when our shit is gone. He pays the rent two weeks late anyway. I’m not a tidy person but as a woman the bathroom and kitchen are my sanctuary. Not that I keep either place holy, but you get what I mean. And he’s always leaving a mess in the kitchen everywhere for dayssss! You’d think it was a huge 3 day frat party every weekend, and then find out its just a 50 yr. old alcoholic Mexican addicted to Rock n Roll. I’ve seen prostitutes welcomed. And cucarachas as well. I don’t do roaches. Yes, I’m from the District of Columbia but I was raised in Maryland. Roaches only exist in school cafeterias.

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I’m still with my boyfriend so this will be the first Christmas in five years that i won’t be at work or be alone. Not that being alone is a terrible thing. Being alone taught me to love myself or at least try. Every night I think to myself how blessed I am. Even when it seems like I’m not loving myself, I’m loving life. I’m writing down plans for tomorrow, next week, next month, and even five months away!

Don’t know if its the weather, but ambition is burning inside of me to do more. So I’m taking advantage of it while I can, while passion still exist. I got my first credit card this month! Hoorah for me! Now I can rent a car til I can afford my dream Range Rover. Un día, un día. I’ve been trying to obtain my license for two years. So laugh if you want but this was not any easy task. I hit a parked car the day before my test. (And yes the owner of that vehicle was informed and paid for the invisible damages).

In a few weeks, I will kidnap my boyfriend to see my place of serenity. (Kidnap because I’m driving ha ha). I’m kind of nervous because some parts of Florida are like my “spot.” Everyone has a place they go to get away from everything and everyone. There’s never a time when my mind is not thinking except at the beach. Its like my thoughts are crashed by every incoming tide. Instead of becoming frustrated, I stare at the waves, grip a fistful of sand squeeze and repeat. And repeat until my thoughts are only the sound the next wave brings. The ripples changing the rhythm of the my mood. From summertime sadness to an overall peace to loving God’s creations to gratefulness in living another day I had earlier wanted to curse. O happy day please come again tomorrow. Goodnight

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Hustling takes Ambition pt2

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Being a pretty dancer is a plus, but being a hustler, only takes pipe game and advertising through style and mannerisms. I seen trifling fat girls make money. And I’m not talking about $5 pity money.

When I first started dancing, I averaged $500 day. I only worked dayshift. I mostly stood in front of a mirror until someone asked for a dance. If someone eyed me, I would smile, go over, and within 5 minutes I knew whether they were getting a dance or not. Occasionally, I would stay 5 minutes longer if I was comfortable but usually that resulted in me reminding them I’m working and a small tip. Some may call this lazy but honestly this is the best method for me. I call this strategy “smart hustling” . It tells men my time is money. And it lets me know which men value my time. Standing by the side mirror, I can see what body type a customer is admiring at the stage. That way if my “smart hustling” doesn’t work, I can move on to “drunk hustling.” Which ALWAYS works as long as the clubs not empty and the music is pumping. Drunk hustling is aggressive horny hustling need I say more…. 😉

“Drunk hustling” produces amazing results. Why? #1Customers don’t want to be drunk alone.  #2 Alcohol gives you an excuse to be aggressive. Demanding a lap dance or champagne room makes you appear horny or sexually frustrated rather than a money hungry bitch.

“Drunk hustling” is the only way I dance in black clubs.  When I danced in Atlanta and Washington dc I drank FourLoko’s every night. Every stripper has her own market. Mine is Cute&Cuddly, Exotic, Sweet, Expensive, Tiny Waist,Big Boobiesss(32DDD). In black clubs ass is valued over boobies, sassy over sweet, and Freaky&Sneaky wins daily. Fuck cute&cuddly! So honestly my market isn’t in demand at strictly black clubs but I still do it because its a monopoly for me when that one guy accidentally walked into the wrong club. It only takes one guy to make my night in ATL.

Another after work

post, goodnight

Hustling takes Ambition

Im back at Blush, what can I say, um I’m a clean hustla. I play where the clean hustlas play.

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Stripping is starting to bother me. I love what I do but when you don’t have a goal, you feel like wasted space. Wasted time. Wasted piece of human being. Before I continue, I am bipolar and have PTSD. I say “I am bipolar because these last few years, my disease has been running my life. I have not been able to control it to where I have and live with it.

Anyway my money from dancing goes into treating my disease. Not drugs, but small things to keep me somewhat functioning. Getting by, temporary, small, purposeless things. Instead of having a goal like going to college, or buying a house, or making a business plan, my goal is to get through the next 24 hours productively.

I feel like I’ve lost my ambition. I can’t wait to start traveling and stripping. I feel like this will make me ambitious again because I will need to make money. I miss the fire in wanting to be the best ME.

Dozing , goodnight